Saturday, June 14, 2008

Cheryl Lynn will leave Myspace

I stayed up until almost 4 am. this morning copying pasting and saving all of Cheryl Lynns emails from Myspace, because once she does delete her profile, those messages disappear. Reading them again was like watching a movie of our friendship, reliving everything. I am surprised that it never occurred to me before to save them. But, I am glad I did. A few tears trickled down my cheek while I was doing it.

For some reason, at this moment, Myspace is not allowing me to blog, so I will just blog here.

I made a new friend, from Bangladesh, a man who has been in New York for 16 years. I went out of my way to help him network in his job search, and he wanted to say thanks by taking me to dinner.

We went to a neighborhood that is mostly people from Bangladesh. We had a leisurely meal of Banglash style food (rice and meat), followed by several cups of tea prepared with milk.

I spent a long time telling him about my friendship on Myspace with Cheryl Lynn. He spoke about his various relationships. He is tall, handsome and physically fit. He could easily have any number of different women as a girl friend. But, his great desire is to find a Bangla woman (from Bangladesh). Except, well, he has been in the USA so many years, that he is changed in certain ways, in values and attitudes.

We cannot have our cake and eat it too.

And we always seem to want the one thing which is hardest to obtain.

He said that the non-Bangla women that he dates are looking for commitment. This is most understandable. Most women want a relationship that builds and goes someplace (like home and family), rather than simply "Fun Fun Fun until my Daddy takes the T-Bird away" (an old rock and roll song").

He was on a date with one girl, and she made some joke about "what if we were on a cruise, and I jumped in the ocean?" So he said "well, I would jump in and save you, and swim to an island and build a house." She looked at him in wide-eyed wonder, and exclaimed "oh, that is so wonderful." He realized that he had given her the impression that he seeks commitment. And she was looking for commitment.

He explained to me that he had become very distant from his fellow countrymen in the city. They seemed to distance themselves from him, and view him as alien. So, he has made a point, the past several years, to come to this Bangla neighborhood, to make friendships. In the summertime, there are various pic-nics and social gatherings.

Of course, he was raised and is Muslim. We spent some time talking about Islam, and various religious matters.

One of his several wise comments is his observation that people such as Gandhi, will go abroad, and study in another culture, and then return to their native land with an idea to implement some change among their people. Sometimes, the change succeeds, and other times it is disaster .

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