Literary Discussions

Quid pro quo- something in exchange for something- or as he said 'something on the table.'  Regarding Estelle's thread here, I would say that: #1 Estelle, you have to DECIDE exactly what it is you want or expect and then #2 you have to find a way to communicate those expectations to some person or persons that you have in mind. 

Now in THEORY, it could be that #1 is your problem and you are TORN between conflicting desires. If THAT is the problem then you cannot solve it by looking at those people you spend time with and you wont solve it by blogging about it. 

I think that all social relationship issues or goals divide basically into two groups.  There are people who have short-term goals which might be conversation but also involve expectations of intimacy. The second group, the long-term goal, is building a life together constructively with commitment which obviously INCLUDES periods of intimacy on a regular basis but also includes fidelity, self-sacrifice, loyalty.

Now there are people who for one reason or another NEVER get beyond the group 1 short-term goals of intimacy, either because they dont WANT anything more than that, OR because there is something in their personality that prevents them from proceeding to the long-term goals.