Saturday, April 23, 2011

Women as sexual objects

I had a friend in his 50's, never married but always on the look-out for a woman, who argued with me that there must always be "something on the table" (quid pro quo) for a woman to consent to intimacy. He was angry because he spent $100 on a dinner with a woman and she did not want to go home with him.He does not make a lot of money. I suggested that he simply be candid up front about his expectations and that surely there will be some women who will also desire intimacy without spending on expensive meals. But it seemed to me that he saw women as objects to be purchased or bribed in some fashion.

My middle-aged friend did not have his first sexual experience until he was 30. He stayed with that woman, who was a nice woman, a hairdresser, for two years, but she kept pushing for marriage. He felt that "his luck had changed" so he wanted to go back to the bars to see what the future held in store for him. He NEVER found another woman like that first one. Now he realizes that he should have married her and built a life.  But when the mind is fixed upon women being sexual objects and variety and adventure being key elements to the thrill then how could such a mind fall in love with a woman as a person, an individual, and build a committed life together?

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